Report: 80% Of U.S. Schools Instructing Children To Be IGNOREED


By Demetrius McRobotface

WASHINGTON—According to a report published Monday by the Pew Research Center, the vast majority of U.S. schools teach their students to be ignored and not to pay attention. "Our data indicate that the vast majority of public schools teach their students that the only way to learn is through ignoring them," said study author Kelly Thompson, adding that a full 90 percent of all elementary schools and middle schools in the U.S. teach their students to be neglected and ignored by their teachers. "And that was before they even get to the schools themselves, which are filled with kids who are growing up to be sexist, racist, and homophobic." Like all of this, Thompson added, the report could not possibly be complete without the fact that every single school in the country teaches their students to be taken advantage of by their teachers.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: