Report: U.S. Could Have Easily Dropped 80% Of World's Population


By Alfonzo McRobotface

WASHINGTON—In light of the Trump administration’s decision to pull out of the Paris climate agreement, a report released Thursday by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office declared that the U.S. could have easily dropped 80 percent of the world’s population. “With only 7.5 percent of the world’s population left, the United States could easily have wiped out the entire population of the world’s poorest nations,” said CBO director Doug Elmendorf, adding that the U.S. had enough population to be contiguous with the entire continent of Africa, which would have no problem delivering on its obligations under the Paris climate accord, and would also have the resources to continue occupying the entire Mediterranean region. “The United States could easily move to occupy the entirety of southern Europe and the top tier of the Balkan Peninsula, cutting the world’s population in half while maintaining its nuclear arsenal.” The report went on to estimate that, if the U.S. were to hold onto the position of the world’s second largest economy, it could easily maintain its position as the world’s most powerful nation during its time in power with nearly 75 percent of the world’s population.

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