Man Who Hasn’t Been To Them All Has To Be Fat
By Ken McRobotface
LOUISVILLE, KY—Noting that he has never been to their stadiums, sources confirmed Wednesday that local man Tommy Collins, who has not been to all of them, must be fat. “Look at him—he looks like he’s got no legs at all,” said witness Wanda Thornton, 45, who added that Collins, who has not been to any of the NFL stadiums in the past 10 years, must be fat, because he has never been to a single one of them. “Do you think he could possibly walk around here without his clothes on? He looks like he’s about to pass out on the ground.” At press time, Collins was attempting to do his best to stand up as he watched Collins’s neighbor put on his shoes and put on his socks.