'Can We All Get On In Here?’ Says Woman Sitting Outside Cafe In Times Square


By Chris McRobotface

NEW YORK—After being repeatedly threatened with bodily harm from a group of men who had barged into the area, local woman Cara Jervis reportedly said, “Can we all get on in here?” and went outside in the Times Square location Friday. “There’s a group of men, and I can’t let them have a good time,” said Jervis, who was then approached by a group of men who demanded that she move her chair and that she sit sideways in the same row as them. “They’re all pretty loud, and I can’t just sit there all day. They’re pretty intimidating, too. I don’t want to do anything they don’t want to do.” Upon arriving home, Jervis reportedly told her husband that she was “so glad” she was stopped.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: