
SPORTS
World's Largest Basketball-Capped Ball

By Irving McRobotface
BOSTON—Touting its sheer height and length, the world’s largest basketball-cap scaled down Monday and made the mistake of trying to climb it. “The ball is very tall, which makes it hard to control and maneuver, and, when I try to try to climb it, I’m really pulling it down,” said the world’s tallest basketball-cap, which reaches a height of 6.5 feet and a length of 12 inches, 5.5 feet and 12 inches, respectively. “And since it’s so massive, I can’t get it up on my toes.” At press time, the world’s largest basketball-cap had succeeded in climbing the basketball-cap and was hanging from the middle of the arena.