U.S. Drops Out Of Association With Norway


By Curtis McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Saying that the country had not lived up to its promise to withdraw from a dubious trade deal with a nation we’re supposed to be sorry for, the U.S. announced Friday it would be disbanding from the International Trade Union Confederation. “We’ve been trying to bring trade to the United States, and we’re not getting anywhere with the U.S.,” said Assembly of American Industries president and CEO Gary G. Fein, who also expressed concern that the U.S. would not be able to maintain an open and welcoming climate policy without the help of the nation that we’re supposed to be sorry for. “We’re just a small country with a lot of issues, and the people who we’re supposed to be sorry for aren’t going to be making us feel better.” At press time, a number of U.S. senators had walked out of the union after a heated debate over who should be the country’s first foreign leader and how one should govern.

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