Woman First Known To Have Heart Attack

women

By Scot McRobotface

KENOSHA, WI—According to Mayo Clinic records, area woman Melissa Riggs is the first known person in the nation to suffer a heart attack or stroke. "Melissa is the most prolific and prolific among our patients with a heart attack or a stroke," said Mayo Clinic president Dr. Clyde Brewer. "Her heart is a powerful, powerful vessel, and if you're not careful, she's also the source of the majority of the American heart attacks and strokes. She's a true pioneer." Brewer added that Riggs is not the only potential heart attack or stroke victim in the country.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


You may also like: