Man Excited About New Career Opportunities After Realizing He Went Through A Lot Of Shit

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By Bruce McRobotface

LOUISVILLE, KY—Expressing his excitement about the new opportunities, local man Isaac Alston told reporters Tuesday that he was excited about his new career opportunities after realizing he went through a lot of shit. “I’m thinking about it. There’s many new opportunities to pursue, and I’m pretty sure I’m doing pretty well,” said the man who found himself unemployed for a year and a half after losing his job, a job that was supposed to fix his finances, a marriage, and his kids. “Maybe I’ll even be able to find a new one, like, halfway through this thing, like I’m sure I’m doing pretty good right now.” At press time, Alston was starting to worry about how he was going to pay for his kids’ college expenses.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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