Man Who Doesn’t Like To Wait To Get Home From Work To Take A Walk Around The House Doesn’t Have To Do That

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By Aurelio McRobotface

ELKHART, NJ—Calling it a “no-brainer” that he could get a good night’s rest at home, local man Daniel Gardner told reporters Thursday that he doesn’t like to wait until his boss leaves for work to do a walk around the house. “I’m not saying this to brag, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not enjoying the minute I’m not walking through the house every morning,” said Gardner, who took several minutes of silence Friday morning to look around the house before saying that he likes the sound of the house ticking, and doesn’t mind the way the place is being built up, but doesn’t consider himself a “true man” who wants to go home for a walk around the house. “I’m also not saying this to brag, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to take a quick peek at the kitchen while I’m eating breakfast.” Gardner then went outside to walk around the house, stopping at the laundry room and the garage, to verify that there wasn’t anything in the house he didn’t like.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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