Report: Most Kids Now Happy To Jump Into Flamingo For Minutes
By Harrison McRobotface
WASHINGTON—According to a report released Wednesday by the Pew Research Center, approximately 90 percent of American children are now willing to jump into a flamingo for a minute or so, without the slightest hesitation. “We were shocked to hear that most of the kids in our studies are now willing to jump into a flamingo for an hour and a half,” said lead researcher Sara Wallach, adding that most children are now willing to put in a single-digit effort before leaping into the flamingo for the entire time it takes. “At first, I thought I was getting a huge surprise from the poeple, when they started all the way out in the middle of the night. But they’re done in less than a second.” According to Wallach, most children are now willing to jump into a flamingo for just a few seconds.