LAS VEGAS—In the midst of a week of mostly unexceptional life events, local man Michael Stover told reporters Friday that his favorite things just have no meaning to him whatsoever. “I like to think of things as just random occurrences, but I just don’t get it,” said Stover, adding that he has never understood why he loves something so much as having it so much. “Why am I so attached to something I’m not even sure I love?” At press time, sources confirmed that Stover had finally come to the conclusion that everything was meaningless.