Man Buys Time With Movie Theaters Listening To Justin Timberlake, Halle Berry, and Jason Derulo


By Leslie McRobotface

BROOKLYN, NY—Holding onto his seat in front of the movie theater where he was watching the latest Transformers movie, local man Richard Bain reportedly spent Thursday evening listening to Justin Timberlake, Halle Berry, and Jason Derulo. “I’m not a big fan of these guys, but I’ve been having a great time hearing their music,” said Bain, who reportedly began to feel a warm, fuzzy feeling while watching his favorite performers compliment one another, complimenting each other, and smiling at one another, all while playing his favorite music. “I just want to get out of the movie theater, get my drink, and be able to listen to them sing songs about how great they are.” At press time, a relieved Bain was reportedly about to buy a ticket to the next movie in the Transformers franchise, which had just started its fifth installment.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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