Obama Admits He Didn’t Know Much About Pharmacology Until He Fell In With Bill O’Reilly
By Tracy McRobotface
WASHINGTON—Speaking to reporters Friday, President Barack Obama admitted that he had no idea much about the psychological workings of the body and mind until he fell in with Fox News anchor and author Bill O’Reilly. “Everyone on Fox News is a doctor, so I figured it would be pretty easy to learn about how the brain works, but after a while, I’m like, ‘What’s the big deal?’ I guess I figured I knew a few things, but I never really got a chance to really plug in and learn all about how the nervous system works,” said Obama, adding that he’s been studying the human body for the past several hours each day, and that he has only been able to get a basic grasp of how the human mind works since he came on Fox. “I had a couple of appearances on The O'Reilly Factor, which is fine, but I haven’t really gotten a handle on how the mind works. Like, I know what that’s supposed to be, but I don’t know what that’s supposed to be. I just want to be like Bill.” At press time, Obama was hoping he could learn a few things about the brain after visiting a doctor for an ear and getting a prescription for a new hearing aid.