Polar Bears Hit Hard By Racist, White Nationalists
By Bernardo McRobotface
PORTLAND, ME—Saying they were shocked and saddened to learn of the hate-filled rhetoric emanating from within the predominantly white supremacist organization, the members of the Norwegian Polar Bears organization told reporters Monday that they were hit really hard by the racist, white nationalist group. “I’m still trying to come to terms with the level of hatred and intolerance from the racist, white nationalist ideology,” said captain Alexander Lundberg, adding that, while the hate-filled rhetoric had been directed at him personally over the years, he had struggled to come to terms with the highly xenophobic ideology emanating from his team’s Norwegian counterpart. “They don’t like me for some reason. I guess they think I’m some sort of multiculturalist heretic who doesn’t stand for anything. They’ve tried to convince me they’re the same race, and that I’m not. They’ve even called me a traitor and a traitorous bastard. I guess they’re trying to turn the whole organization against me.” At press time, the Norwegian Polar Bears organization was urging their members to still hold out hope that their white nationalist team would at least be able to compete with their racist, white nationalist rivals.