Report: Most Of U.S. Begins As Potential World Leader

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By Stevie McRobotface

WASHINGTON—According to a report published Monday by the Brookings Institution, the majority of the United States has as yet been nothing more than a relatively good option for world leader. “So far, the U.S. has been an excellent option for world leader,” said Brookings Institution senior fellow David L. Friedman, who also noted that the United States has been a solid option for world leader for more than a decade, but that the country’s place in the world’s pantheon has been somewhat shaken recently. “But the U.S. itself is a relatively bad option for world leader, especially considering that it is either an absolute DREAMer or a total jack-ass.” Friedman added that if the U.S. were to ever become a good option for world leader, the nation would be just fine as a restatement of the worst possible option.

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