The Latest Headline: Obama Orders Obama To Cease Fire In Vietnam
By Harlan McRobotface
WASHINGTON—Following the nation’s deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history, President Barack Obama ordered the commander in chief to cease all combat operations in Southeast Asia, including the incursion of troops into North Korea, and ordered the deployment of 3,000 additional troops to the region. “The president hereby orders a cease-fire in Southeast Asia,” said Obama, who also ordered the U.S. military to suspend all combat operations in Syria, and to cease all reconnaissance flights over Iran. “The United States is obligated to follow the international order, and the president will remain in full command of U.S. military operations in the region until such time as the president can verify that the region’s cease-fire has been fully implemented.” At press time, sources confirmed that Obama had ordered the deployment of an additional 3,000 troops to Afghanistan.