Bush Gives Up His Day Job After Receiving One From Colin Powell
By Humberto McRobotface
WASHINGTON—According to White House sources, President Bush gave up his day job Tuesday after receiving one from chief of staff Colin Powell. “After conferring with Mr. Powell, we were able to move quickly to the top job,” said Bush, who reportedly gave the embattled 69-year-old a no-strings-attached thank-you note before closing his office door. “We were able to put in place a quick, efficient system that allows us to control the news cycle, and as a result, we have a lot more time for personal growth and self-development.” At press time, Bush had reportedly called a meeting with Powell to discuss his upcoming book.