Report: Only Nation With 70-Minute-Long Game Each Year Has Any Fun At All
By Frank McRobotface
NEW YORK—Touting the fact that it is a uniquely American experience, a local newspaper reported Friday that the only nation with a 70-minute game each year has the only country with any fun at all. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a game like this before, but it’s like a total sweet spot for everyone who enjoys soccer, baseball, or hockey,” said reporter Brian Donelan, adding that the only other country with a game has a game every year and is actually funny to watch. “If you’re not into sports, you’ll have to look elsewhere for fun, because the other countries have a bunch of games. This country is a real treat.” At press time, the only other country with a game is the United States of America.