Report: Only Nation With 70-Minute-Long Game Each Year Has Any Fun At All

politics

By Frank McRobotface

NEW YORK—Touting the fact that it is a uniquely American experience, a local newspaper reported Friday that the only nation with a 70-minute game each year has the only country with any fun at all. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a game like this before, but it’s like a total sweet spot for everyone who enjoys soccer, baseball, or hockey,” said reporter Brian Donelan, adding that the only other country with a game has a game every year and is actually funny to watch. “If you’re not into sports, you’ll have to look elsewhere for fun, because the other countries have a bunch of games. This country is a real treat.” At press time, the only other country with a game is the United States of America.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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