Chase Utley Returns To Baseball After Astonishing Experience In Which He Was Hit By A Ball

baseball

By Daryl McRobotface

NEW YORK—Claiming that he could not believe he had been hit so hard, New York Mets pitcher Chase Utley was reportedly back at the ballpark Monday night after an incredible, haunting experience in which he was hit by a ball. “I was just about to throw a ball into the air, and then I was hit by a ball,” said Utley, adding that, through the experience, he had also been bounced off the left-field wall and hit by a bouncer, which he described as “kind of scary.” “I feel like I’m going to throw a ball into the wall, and I’m going to feel it go right right through the wall. I can’t believe I still have this fear in my head that I’m going to get hit by a ball, and it’s just that good. I can’t believe I was hit a ball right in the chest and I still have this fear of getting hit by a ball.” Utley later told reporters that he also experienced a feeling of being crushed by a ball in his chest shortly after the experience ended, but that it was nothing compared to the rush of the thought that he was being crushed by a ball.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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