The Supreme Court Can't Rule On Whether or Not Corporations Can Take Over Our Elections

By Bryon McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Delivering a landmark ruling that has swept aside decades of precedent, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 Tuesday in favor of a company that can take over our elections. “Our nation’s highest court now finds that a company able to hold control over our democratic process and oversee elections is, in fact, one of the most powerful entities in the world,” said Chief Justice John Roberts, adding that the decision was an important milestone in the ongoing fight to expand America’s powerful corporations into the U.S. government. “More and more, there has been growing evidence suggesting that, in fact, corporations are indeed the most powerful and influential force in all of American life. And that, in fact, they have the ultimate authority to take over all of the federal, state, and local levels of government just as they do in our own country. The Supreme Court’s decision has unleashed a tidal wave of new legislation that will greatly expand the power of corporations in the eyes of so many people that they will be able to make their own laws.” Roberts added that the ruling also paved the way for a company to be temporarily suspended by the U.S. government to be reinstated in its place.

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