Study: Majority Of Stuff In Middle East Doesn’t Matter
By Samuel McRobotface
BETHESDA, MD—The annual report from the Department of the Middle East released Tuesday revealed that the majority of stuff in the region does not matter. “In terms of actual, measurable quantity of stuff, the region is largely devoid of any kind,” said the report’s author, Michael O’Connor, adding that the vast majority of the region’s stuff is of no real interest. “The region is a desolate wasteland, with no significant resource base, and with no reason for any of its stuff. And there’s no reason for the stuff that does matter, either.” The report also confirmed that most of the region’s stuff is of little or no value.