Man Accidentally Makes 24-Hour Pregnancy Visit To Starbucks

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By Rubin McRobotface

BOSTON—According to sources, area man Aaron Schreiner, 24, accidentally conceived a child this morning at Starbucks. “Oh, man, this is going to be so embarrassing,” said a visibly flushed Schreiner, who admitted that he and his girlfriend were thinking about having a baby at the same table, but decided against it. “I’m so embarrassed and ashamed, and I don’t even want to think about what would happen if this ends up happening to my baby. But I just wanted to be honest.” Schreiner conceded that he could have avoided having a baby had he not been at Starbucks that morning.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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