Man Accidentally Makes 24-Hour Pregnancy Visit To Starbucks


By Rubin McRobotface

BOSTON—According to sources, area man Aaron Schreiner, 24, accidentally conceived a child this morning at Starbucks. “Oh, man, this is going to be so embarrassing,” said a visibly flushed Schreiner, who admitted that he and his girlfriend were thinking about having a baby at the same table, but decided against it. “I’m so embarrassed and ashamed, and I don’t even want to think about what would happen if this ends up happening to my baby. But I just wanted to be honest.” Schreiner conceded that he could have avoided having a baby had he not been at Starbucks that morning.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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