‘The Beginning And The End Of This,’ Say Sources

By Andy McRobotface

LOS ANGELES—According to sources, the six-month-long drama of the 2017 Oscars celebrated the journey of the Academy’s Best Picture nominees. “The Academy is very excited to welcome the movie-goers to the festival floor, where the winners will be presented with a virtual tour of our world,” said Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs, explaining that the process of interviewing a massive array of reporters—from the Los Angeles Times to Page Six—which also features a virtual Academy tour, was the reason she was able to select this year’s winners. “Now that you’ve seen a taste of what we have in store, come and enjoy the show. And keep your eyes on the screen, because we’re going to get the awards talkin’ on for the entire Oscars audience.” Boone Isaacs went on to say the Academy had already heard a lot of great feedback about the Academy’s Virtual Academy, and was already looking forward to hearing what the audience wants to see next.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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