Area Man Still Trying To Get Unemployed Job To Pay Off Debt


By Mitchel McRobotface

PALMDALE, CA—Despite having a job offer of a six-figure salary at a major tech company, local man Sean Barnes is still trying to figure out how he will pay off his $2,000 in student loans. “I know I have to go to college, but I really have no idea how I’ll pay off my mom’s mortgage and my dad’s car payments,” said Barnes, who added that he can’t even remember the last time he paid off his phone bill. “I’m definitely not going to get a part-time job—I’m doing all kinds of shit I’m still not doing.” Barnes added that he has tried to figure out how he’s going to pay off his mortgage, but has been unsuccessful.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: