PORTLAND, ME—Having been encouraged by his friends and family to seek out the deep and uncomfortable things in life, local man Aaron Davies told reporters Tuesday that he was looking for deep, unconflicted love affairs. “I found that most of the people I meet, even people I’m not good with, are very happy with their relationships, and I think that’s because they’re happy with their relationships,” said Davies, adding that he was looking for a relationship where the two individuals could even be happy and comfortable without feeling like they’re two sides of the same coin. “I’ve been to a lot of places where people are nice, but I don’t think it’s true that everyone is nice. I think I’m looking for a relationship where there are no misunderstandings at all.” At press time, Davies had placed a call to the guy who already had one.