Man Who Has No Idea What He’s Doing Is In World Where People Know What They’re Doing

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By Claudio McRobotface

LIVINGSTON, TX—Explaining that he is just someone who doesn’t know anything at all about anything at all, area man Brian Cartwright told reporters Friday that he is in the world where people know exactly what they’re doing. “I guess I’m just someone who doesn’t know how to process anything whatsoever,” said Cartwright, adding that he seems to have no clue what he’s doing or how to do anything at all, which is kind of normal for him. “I guess I’m just like everybody else.” At press time, Cartwright was attempting to figure out how to stop himself from having to do anything at all.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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