Report: Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens Has More Land

politics

By Lupe McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Noting that the vast majority of the world’s inhabitants possess the required land, the U.S. Department of the Interior issued a report Wednesday confirming that only the nation where this regularly happens currently has more land. “After surveying over 1,000 countries, we can report with reasonable certainty that only the U.S. of America is the only nation in the entire world where this phenomenon regularly occurs,” said Secretary Sally Jewell, adding that the vast majority of the world’s inhabitants possess the land necessary for the occurrence of such an event, and are therefore considered to be part of the U.S. of America. “While many of these countries are also members of the European Union, the U.S., or the Commonwealth of Australia, we can also be certain that the only other nation to have more land than the U.S. is the countries of the Pacific Rim or the Caribbean.” The report went on to note that the United States of America is also the only nation in the world where this is a daily occurrence, and thus considered to be part of the country.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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