I Wish I'd Press Up On My Neck First

By Guillermo McRobotface

You know, I'd been envisioning this moment for a long time. I was preparing for a major shift in my career and a significant change in my outlook on life. But in the end, I was just thinking, "While I've been a successful actor since high school, I think I'd be better suited for the role of a subject."

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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