Report: Average Person’s Deep Empathy For Animals May Be Good For Business

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By Maynard McRobotface

NEW YORK—A new study published Monday found that the average person’s deep compassion for animals may actually be good for business. “Our research indicates that the average person’s deep understanding of the plight of animals may serve to attract customers and help bring in business,” said lead researcher Dr. Timothy Rofe, adding that the average person’s knack for understanding the plight of animals and their customers was able to lead to a 23 percent increase in sales of pet products last year. “In fact, the less the average person has empathy for animals, the more likely they are to be able to turn that empathy into real, tangible business.” Rofe went on to say that the best way to ensure that a person’s deep understanding of animals did not take off is to have a person who does not have that level of empathy for animals.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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