Man Who Just Bought A Seat Still Having Fun With The Game


By Ashley McRobotface

TOLEDO, OH—Explaining that he is still getting to grips with the game’s nuances and evolving mechanics, local man Dan Russell told reporters Monday that he is still having fun with the game. “Honestly, I’m not even sure how to play this,” said Russell, who admitted that he has spent several hours and even a few days trying to figure out how to have a conversation with the person sitting in front of him. “I’m not even sure how to get my hands on a ruler and write out a score. It’s kind of confusing.” At press time, Russell was still sitting in the empty chair he has been sitting in for the past three hours.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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