Mom Knows Who Should Be On Board With This Town
By Irvin McRobotface
TRENTON, NY—Moments after learning that her son Matthew was in the middle of a major accounting scandal, local mom Paula Price informed her son that he had been named in a Washington Post article on insider trading. “Boy, I knew something was wrong when my husband told me about this, but that doesn’t mean you can’t trust him. He knows what he’s doing, and it’s working out great,” Price said of her son’s affair with the Clintons. “They keep calling it ‘an open secret’ and it’s true that they’re getting bigger and better every day. But I wonder who the real big shots are? Like, who knows what they’ve been doing lately?” At press time, Price was apparently relieved when her son told her he was all set to be a VP of Amazon.