R. Kelly Releases New Pregnant Teenage Boy
By Judson McRobotface
NEW YORK—Following the release of a video in which the billionaire socialite and entertainment mogul is seen having sex with a prepubescent teenage boy, celebrity gossip website TMZ.com released a statement that claimed that a new pregnant teen boy is being created for the website and will be released in October. “The new baby will be a beautiful, high-fashioned teenager with a prominent blue-gray eye and a deep, lush green skin,” read the statement from TMZ.com community editor Greg Feldman, adding that the new baby is expected to be the second child of an extremely wealthy, powerful and sexually mature man who is also a famous television personality. “The baby will be included in the upcoming alt-right-aligned, anti-gay, and anti-Israel rhetoric, as well as in the controversial ‘No Child’ campaign. Additionally, the new baby will be the second child of a woman who also has a child.” Feldman went on to say that the baby will reportedly be featured on a radical anti-Sharia, anti-Semitic, and pro-cycling message board, as well as a popular anti-gay message board.