Man Just Going To Go Away And Let Everybody Else Know About It


By Giovanni McRobotface

HARRISBURG, PA—Explaining that he was “just going to keep it under wraps for the time being” local resident Alex Bond said Thursday that he just intends to go away and let everybody else know about it. “This is just something I’m going to keep quiet for the time being, but I’m really going to keep it to myself until I get to know everyone better,” said Bond, adding that he’d been planning to tell everyone he knows about his new hobby but was “too afraid” to do so. “I’ve been hanging out with friends on Facebook lately and it’s just like a regular hobby for all these other people. I don’t want to make people worry about this, and I don’t want to worry about this. I just want to keep it all to myself for the time being.” Bond reportedly then glanced at Bond’s phone and told him to “just leave it at home.”

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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