El Chapo Spotted At Casino Luring Sensitive Women Into Sex
By Darrel McRobotface
ATLANTA—Frantically flirting with the women seated closest to him, a convicted international drug kingpin was seen at a Las Vegas casino Tuesday attempting to lure sensitive women into his entanglements. “Oh, pop, it’s just a little game of cat and mouse,” said a man wearing a black ski mask and a chambray shirt, who was apparently seeking to seduce as many women as he could with the promise of work and a chance at a life of luxury. “I’m sure they’ll be into it, and I’m sure they’ll be into me. But you gotta be careful. Because if you go too far, they’ll find you, and they’ll be furious.” At press time, a frustrated and disoriented man had been coaxing the women into the casino’s VIP Lounge, where he was attempting to make a quick buck by offering them the chance to purchase large amounts of cocaine.