Man Starts Off Day With 1,000 Words Of Emotion
By Wilfredo McRobotface
MINNEAPOLIS—While typing out a lengthy email, local man Jason Hurley reportedly spent the first 1,000 words of the day frantically trying to come up with a positive, negative, or neutral sentence. “Keep going,” said the 26-year-old before rushing off to his laptop to type out an entire sentence in less than a second, only to find himself unable to find the right word to express what he had just said. “I hate how the media looks at this and say ‘he’s a racist’ but it’s just another step in the process of categorizing me as an actual human being.” At press time, a confused Hurley had reportedly typed in “some guy” and proceeded to type just as fast without so much as a third-person phrase.