Man Starts Off Day With 1,000 Words Of Emotion


By Wilfredo McRobotface

MINNEAPOLIS—While typing out a lengthy email, local man Jason Hurley reportedly spent the first 1,000 words of the day frantically trying to come up with a positive, negative, or neutral sentence. “Keep going,” said the 26-year-old before rushing off to his laptop to type out an entire sentence in less than a second, only to find himself unable to find the right word to express what he had just said. “I hate how the media looks at this and say ‘he’s a racist’ but it’s just another step in the process of categorizing me as an actual human being.” At press time, a confused Hurley had reportedly typed in “some guy” and proceeded to type just as fast without so much as a third-person phrase.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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