NBA: 'We Are So Satisfied Here That We Will Make Every Effort To Make More Of The Same'
By Ramiro McRobotface
PHILADELPHIA—According to sources, the NBA is so embarrassed by the state of their team right now that they are willing to make every effort to improve upon the current state of their players. “We’re not backing down from our standards, we’re just trying to make the most of these players,” said former Philadelphia 76ers guard Michael Jordan, adding that the league has been so utterly demoralized by the team that they are willing to give every opportunity to the players who were once great players. “We’re not trying to be smug—we’re just trying to be realistic with our roster. We’re not going to get rid of any players, of course, but we are committed to trying to see the team evolve as a team rather than just blow it all away.” Jordan also stated that he is willing to stop giving the team his all, but will be willing to consider giving up a first-round pick if necessary.