Guardian Takes On Mysterious, Altered-Language-Powered-By-Brain-Power Conspiracy

By Waldo McRobotface

PEMBRO, WA—In what has become a feverish search for answers to puzzling questions about the mysterious phenomenon known as “the voice,” sources at the Pembroke Daily News confirmed this week that a mysterious, altered language was being used by various individuals to communicate with extraterrestrials. “I was told it was a language of the dead,” said reporter Gary Beasley, adding that he was also told that a mysterious, altered language was used by representatives of outer space to communicate with a living being. “In fact, if you hear someone speaking a language that looks like I do, it’s probably some of the same people.” Sources confirmed that the phenomenon is a manifestation of a global power elite attempting to silence the planet’s indigenous people.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: