The Latest On The Manhunt For Serial Killer Harry Tresvant

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By Walker McRobotface

MIAMI—Citing the fact that no one has been heard from in days, local man and serial killer Harry Tresvant announced Wednesday that he had been spotted at the Conair in downtown Miami. “I had to go there because I heard a big commotion about a serial killer in the parking lot,” said Tresvant, who along with the other three men he had been seen with were reportedly in possession of a knife and a raggedy sweater. “It was dark, so I figured that maybe it was a mob party, so I went over to check out what was going on. But then I heard some sort of commotion behind me, and I just saw this guy there running towards me with a bloody knife. I didn’t even think he was on drugs, but it turns out he was.” At press time, the perpetrator was wearing a scuffed-up pair of jeans.

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