Woman Just Wiped Out From Post-Labor Day Break
By Maria McRobotface
HARTFORD, CT—Reeling from an unexpected blow to the head, local woman Karen Stiles was reportedly just wiped out from post-Labor Day break Monday. “God, it’s so awful!” said Stiles, wiping away the cholera-influenced lumps as she quietly sobbed into her hands. “It’s about time to put the day’s burden on me again, but now I’m completely wiped out. I don’t even know what I’m going to do.” At press time, Stiles was lying lifeless on the couch, surrounded by several dozen exhausted relatives and friends.