Report: Average Life Expectancy In U.S. Now At Record High


By Christoper McRobotface

Following a study suggesting that life expectancy in the United States has jumped by an average of 20 years in the past decade, a new report from the U.S. Census Bureau found that the average life expectancy in the U.S. is now 80 years higher than it was in the mid-19th century, a statistic that researchers attribute to the increased health care costs in the U.S., the rising cost of living, and what they describe as an overall lack of economic growth.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: