Nation’s College Students To Move To New York Suburbs For Free Day


By Chauncey McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Calling the overwhelming majority of students “hugely disappointed” and “very, very upset,” the nation’s college students confirmed Thursday that they have decided to move to New York city for a free day. “I don’t know if the city makes sense from an economic standpoint, but I’m just happy to have a day like this where I can get out of this and get a real education,” said 16-year-old Emily Ennis, one of several million students who will be able to retire and then move back in with their parents for free. “I like the city, but it really isn’t for me. It’s a lot of work if I’m supposed to be living in an apartment in the city, but I did graduate from college, so I’m definitely not going to be living in a big house in a city.” At press time, many of the students had moved to Brooklyn.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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