Man Gives Whole Foods Grudgingly Acceptance
By Salvatore McRobotface
RALEIGH, NC—According to multiple sources, local man Fred Gilkes, a man who gets his entire paycheck from Whole Foods, gave the supermarket chain a grudging acceptance Tuesday. “I don’t know what happened, but they never quite got it right,” said Gilkes, who gives Whole Foods a 10 percent profit margin on every of his sales. “I’m usually fine with it, but sometimes I think maybe they should have given it to the farmers.” At press time, sources confirmed Gilkes had decided to give Whole Foods an entire loaf of bread instead.