‘Don’t Call Me Just A Teenage Girl,’ Says Bestiary


By Ward McRobotface

NEW YORK—Apparently confused by the name, the bestiary of a 16th-century manuscript of The Last Unicorn that was recently acquired by the National Museum of American History has given readers a perplexed and confused look of its own. "Most of the time, the bestiary is merely a guide to how to spot the occult, but now it seems that the most important thing is for us to think of it as a tool to help us better understand what we know about the Elves," said museum curator Adam Schlesinger, who added that the original manuscript of the classic fairy tale–thriller was in fact written in a manner that would have been much easier for the bestiary to be read for its ideas of perfection in knowledge. "If you cannot read the bestiary, the bestiary will be a complete fraud." Schlesinger also confirmed that much of the bestiary had been lost or was lost altogether, and that he would need to hire extremely skilled experts to figure out how to recover it.

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