Man Really Trying To Get Good At Football


By Bret McRobotface

BRENTIN, WA—Seeking the very best possible learning curve, local 35-year-old Scott McDonald is reportedly trying to get his football skills up to scratch by playing football for a living. “I’m trying to get better by keeping score, but I’m also trying to get as much practice playing the two-minute game,” said McDonald, who has reportedly spent several hours a week playing with friends on his own soccer team, and who is reportedly always looking for new ways to make himself look better in the game’s mirror. “I’m not even sure what I do for the game anymore. I’m just standing there, trying to throw the ball around and catch the ball.” At press time, the struggling McDonald was struggling to get his hands on a football to throw to his friends.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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