Chris Johnson Wants To Do Something About The Fucking Culture

By Joshua McRobotface

I'm a football fan with a big heart. So I'm always pushing for something to change, even if it means we go back to the way things were when I first started playing in the NFL. But right now there's just so much bad shit happening in this country, I'm not sure how I can keep it together alone.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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