Man Finds It Tough Being Beloved By Everyone
EAST LANSING, MI—Sources confirmed Monday that local 36-year-old Justin Dahlen finds it hard being loved by every person he meets. “To be completely honest, I think there’s a lot I like about this guy, but really, he just seems like a total asshole,” said a visibly annoyed Dahlen, who, according to reports, has a hard time believing that it’s a good person to spend the rest of his life with. “For instance, I don’t like the way he talks to people. Or the way he treats me. Or the fact that he makes me uncomfortable. But, honestly, I don’t think he’s that bad. In fact, I think he’s pretty nice.” Sources confirmed that the recent breakup with his wife has also caused Dahlen considerable issues with his family.
By Irwin McRobotface